i was wondering if anyone else had these feelings....we went to an event the other night...everyone was lovely...but i can find it a little hard to relax and mingle...and tend to be a little shy about "getting into it all"...(usually a few drinks help though...)i found it though,that the very same thing, that excites me..i.e. sexy people getting off their gear and get dirty..is the same thing that also scares me away...there were a few i was quite attracted to...one guy in particular...to the point that with hubby's blessing we invited him back to ours...but while my man and i were busy talking, he got busy with another lady...(which is great, lucky him, i know it is sometimes hard for single guys in this scene...)thing is ..after that i didn't really feel all that special anymore...and kinda didn't want to be the next in line....(even though at the time, when we were fooling around, it felt very sexy, sensual and ..well..HOT!..)my question is...am i over my head, thinking i can just make this all about the flesh?does anyone else has conflicting feelings about swinging?on one hand the whole idea of being free and just go by how i feel at the time...give into the attraction my body lets me know i feel, in no uncertain terms...is so liberating and exhilarating...but on the other hand seeing how people can go from one stranger to the next, kinda puts me off...maybe it's just the nature of parties...and perhaps they are just not the thing for us...but my question is...has anyone ever experienced feelings like this...and if so, how was it dealt with in one's head?is this an ego thing, as a woman....wanting to feel desired and special...or am i just messed up a little in the head, and out to take a step back from it all?
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