I would be rich if I had a dollar for every time...

I would be rich if I had a dollar for every timeA man wrote me a message titled "Hi"I had a bad hair-day just when I'd planned an important dateMy dogs licked my couch (they're obsessed with the fabric!)I had to recite part of the alphabet in my head when putting a file back in the right spotSomeone told me they loved my profile without actually reading itI lost a hair elasticA patient called me a f***ing something, from c**t to beaut and anything in betweenI left cream cheese in my fridge until it grew mold.You? Keep it light, folks.

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